FIRST HUMAN BOY: Why do you keep throwing bunches of garlic out of the window?
SECOND HUMAN BOY: To keep the vampires away.
FIRST HUMAN BOY: But there are no vampires around here.
SECOND HUMAN BOY: Works don’t it?
The two monsters went duck-hunting with their dogs, but without success.
'I know what it is, Zob,' said Grunge. 'I know what we're doing wrong.'
'What's that then, Grunge?'
'We're not throwing the dogs high enough.'
Tarzan climbed to the top of the highest
mountain in the jungle. Suddenly, he
was surrounded by every kind of hideous,
fire-breathing, evil-smelling monster in
creation yetis, goblins, trolls, Martians,
mekons, abominable snowmen, the lot.
Do you know what he said?
'Boy, am I ever in the wrong joke. . .'
There once was a monster called Fred,
Who used to eat garlic in bed;
His mother said, 'Son,
That's not really done,
Why don't you eat people instead?'
'Doctor, doctor, you must help me'
'What's the problem?'
'Every night, I dream there are terrible green
and yellow slimy monsters under my bed.
What on earth can I do?'
'Saw the legs off your bed.'
